Blah

I feel like blah. This week started off so incredibly well. Monday I felt fantastic and Bryce and I had such a great day.... which was such a relief because 2009 started off pretty crappy with a sinus infection. Well, Tuesday rolled in along with rain for 2 days. Today I thought that since the sun was back that we'd actually get out of bed and do some things but I was wrong. I just wanted to sleep. Then I had lunch and spent the rest of the day wishing I could have my stomach pumped.

I guess I should explain a bit. On our way back from Florida I found out I was pregnant. Yes, literally on the way back... in the airport bathroom. I had my suspicions at the beginning of the week but I was not going to test because darn it... this was my vacation and I didn't want to hold anything back! 20 months of not being able to become pregnant after my miscarriage... 20 months of thinking maybe every month and gosh darnit... this was our vacation!!! I know that sounds selfish but this was truely our first family vacation by ourselves (well, without my parents or inlaws attending). Well, at the end of the week I just couldn't wonder anymore and the rest is history.

Yup, I'm pregnant. I was supposed to start the IUI process when we returned from our vacation but well.... don't need that! It's hard to believe... 20 months of not being able to become pregnant. I went through all of the infertility tests (and let me tell you... that HCG was not comfortable!) and well... I didn't need to do that.

I've had 2 sonograms now. The first one at 6 weeks at my dr's request because she saw something a little odd on her sonogram (just ended up being that her songram machine is old and blurry) and the 2nd one at my request because I had been cramping a little over Christmas. I was 8 weeks at that point and that is when the last pregnancy ended (although I was 10 weeks when I found out). At both the heartbeat was strong but I'm still not convinced. I go back to the dr. next Tuesday at 10 weeks and if I hear something then I'll feel a little more confident.

Anyhow - that brings me back to feeling blah. I'm SO tired. I can't wake up and when I am awake all I want to do is lay down. Yesterday I was cramping but I felt better when I relaxed so I stayed in bed all day with Bryce. Today I was just exhausted and after I ate lunch I just regretted it so I spent most of the day again in bed trying not to get sick. I've seen GI Joe enough times now to recite it in my sleep.

It really is depressing. I know that I'm depressed because I haven't left my room much this week, let alone my house! I need to get out! But I don't want to go out because I'm so tired and I'm afraid of feeling crappy while I'm out. It just circles around and around.

And poor Bryce.. I really did have so much planned for this week. Tuesday was Three Kings Day, Wednesday was Old Rock Day (but I forgot to dry the rock off so we couldn't paint it anyways) and today was English Toffee Day. I have all of the ingredients to make the toffee so I'm hoping we can do it on Sunday. Tomorrow is National Apricot Day and I'm hoping we can stamp with dried apricots and make apricot pancakes for dinner but I guess we'll have to see how I'm feeling. I didn't make dinner tonight because the thought of food just tossed my stomach so Bryce and Dave had McDonalds. Saturday is Milk Day and I'm hoping to make homemade milk paint to use.

Anyhows - I really should try and get to bed. Plus, I need to stop rambling. My dad says I ramble too much in my blog and I'm sure I do but I don't even stop to think about what I'm typing sometimes. I just type. If I could ever find my old diary I'm sure its the same way.

Well - goodnight for now and I'll blog ya later!