Family and Old Pictures

It has been an interesting weekend. I started writing a post on Friday but couldn't finish it because my jaw was acting up and my headache was making me extremely nauseous that I coudln't sit in front of the computer. I clench and grind my teeth pretty bad in my sleep. I've had TMJ for awhile now but a few years ago someone hit from from behind in the car. The accident caused my cartilage to slip out of place on my right jaw joint. I had very limited movement in my jaw and had to have surgery to put the cartilage back into place. Of course, insurance wouldn't pay for my surgery because they stated that we hadn't tried other options yet - although all of the other options involved taking anti-inflamatories and I am allergic to them. After a year of going back and forth with the insurance I had my surgery and I was finally able to eat like a normal person again! Anyhow - I will still have issues with it for the rest of my life and I see my oral surgeon on a normal basis (every 3 months) to get my night brace adjusted. Fun, eh?

Well, normally what happens is that if I get too stressed out my jaw joint gets swollen and hurts which causes really bad headaches and neck aches. I've learned to just live through it but Friday I just had to go to bed. So no blogging for me on Friday.

Yesterday I went to a Meet the Baby shower for the whole day. It was lots of fun - we had a traditional baby shower (except for the baby had already been born!) that started at 3 and then at 8 we drove back to my friends house and had the "after shower." 9 months of not being able to drink made my friend a little nuts so she wanted to have her friends over for some wine, beer and food! I didn't end up coming home until 2:30am! It was lots of fun but I was feeling it a bit today and basically have done nothing all day!

I did, however, get a chance to scan my mother's childhood pictures in. I'm hoping to be able to frame some old family pictures and put them up on a central wall in the house. My grandfather was in a lot of the pictures - I never met him. He died when my mom was 15 from stomach cancer. I really enjoy looking at her old pictures because I can imagine what he was like. Personally I don't think I look anything like him but my brother on the other hand bares a resemblance to him. Here are some of the pictures:

My grandmother, grandfather and mother

My grandmother and mother

My grandfather and mother

My grandfather My grandmother eventually remarried but he died 3 years ago. She lives very close to my mom though (and has for about 15 years). A few years after my parents moved from NY to MD my grandparents moved into the house that backs up to my parents house. It was pretty cool growing up to have my grandparents so incredibly close! Bryce and I go up once a week to spend the day with my grandmother (we live an hour away from them now) and then we all have dinner with my parents at night. It's really great to be so close with my family. They are so great and I am so blessed to have them!

Well, I was going to post a picture of my mom, grandmother and myself at my wedding but I can't find it! Item #2 that I can't find - my proofs from my wedding. My goodness - where are things going??! Oh well - I'll have to look for that tomorrow. It's getting late and I need to get things together so that I can get to sleep. Until then - thank goodness for family! Be content in the fact that we have family - people to stick by us no matter what.

I've lost my head...

So all day I was thinking about the topic I was going to write about today and I had wanted to include some pictures to make it more interesting but well... I haven't been able to find them. I even cleared off the scanner to scan them in! Bummer - what I was looking for seems to be lost. So.... I'm going to put that post off until I can find what I want to find.

That brings me to the fact that I am totally scatterbrained tonight. Right now I am in charge of organizing the layout for our church pictorial directory. Not the actual photos of people... the collages and such that go at the front of the directory. I have always just assumed that the church sent in these pictures and the company organized it for the church. Noooo... I assumed wrong. It's a lot of work! Right now I have a bazillion pictures... ok, it's not that many... but a lot!... on my hard drive of the computer and others that need to be scanned in and then apparently others that are waiting for pickup at the church. Plus, I have organize the layout of the staff... type out everything that needs to be labeled and add cutsey pictures to make it look pretty.

To give you an idea of what I'm doing. Our last pictorial directory in 2005 had 45 collage pages preceeding the actual pictorial directory. I have 2 people that I can call to help me but it's just crazy. I also have the directions and random papers all over the den floor so that I can start laying out the "layout". It's a wreck.

So on top of that I realized I coudln't find what I wanted to find for my blog post tonight. So then I started running all over the place looking for that. No where to be found. While I was doing that my husband came home and went in to read a book to my son who, yes... was still awake in his bed (I put him to bed at 8:30, Dave came home at 9:30 and it's now 10:40 and I can still hear him awake in his bed... argh). I was then informed that Bryce's imaginary friends dog pee'd in his bed again (the dog pee'd in his bed 2 nights ago too). On top of that I had forgotten to put the waterproof mattress pad back on today after it had completely dried from being washed yesterday! Goodness.

This post has gotten away from me. Haha - just like everything else tonight! So it's been a hectic night. I went over to Mary's blog to read her Day 6 posting and ended up also re-reading her Day 5 post. There's where it hit me, she writes:

"I am also content that God is in Control!!!"

I need to remember that and be thrilled that it is all for a reason! God is in control! Goodness... just thinking that has slowed down my heartbeat and calmed me down. God is in control and it will all work out alright. This is just one crazy night that I can handle. Because God is not going to throw more at me than I can handle - I have to trust that he is right. And as I say that over and over in my head I hear my wonderful little 4 year old boy running to the potty and pee'ing! It's music to my ears! Because I only have 2 pairs of sheets for him and 1 are in the wash right now! HA - if he had gone in his bed well... I would have handled it. But thank you God for reminding him to use the POTTY!

So thank you Mary. Thank you for reminding me that God is in control. It's not me - it's him and he's not going to throw more at me than I can handle. I CAN do this all. I WILL get it done and goodness gracious... I will find that item I'm looking for!

Lastly.... I need advice from you moms out there with tons of wisdom. My son now has many, many imaginary friends and like I said, they apparently have pets. I am totally find with the friends and pets... no problem. I find his imagination amazing and love that about him! BUT... he's now blaming things on them and I don't know how to handle it. I don't want to squash his imagination but really... we all know it was him that pee'd in his bed and him that threw all of his books around the room. The pee in the bed thing... he was totally awake and I think he did it to spite me. I wouldn't come in and read him another book and the next thing I know... he peed his bed (but not his PJ's! so he must have pulled them down to do it!). Again tonight - our agreement was he could watch the end of his movie but no books (since it was getting late). He asked over and over from his room for me to read him a book and I said no... next thing you know... Daddy's finding pee in the bed and PJ's are dry! Any advice on how to handle it???

Being Content

There's such a thing as too much happiness and sadness. What I'm after is contentment.

~Ray Charles

This quote is exactly what I am chasing after. My life tends to be a lot of ups and downs. I definitely would not say that it's that extreme for me to be diagnosed as bi-polar by any means but I do think that I tend to be riding a roller coaster a little more than most. Of those who know me personally... you know that I love to sleep. I have the hardest time waking up in the morning. I tend to stay up way too late at night because I know that I won't wake up in the morning and I have things that I want to do. The amount of sleep I get does not seem to make getting up in the morning any easier or harder... I can easily sleep 10 hours at night and still not want to wake up in the morning. I am just NOT a morning person!

But... if I have something exciting to look forward to sometimes it helps me to get a jumpstart in the morning. It does take a lot of excitement to get that going though. What I'd like overall though is to have such a contentment in my life that I enjoy waking up and getting on with my life every morning.

Now, don't get me wrong... I love being at home with my son and I do love my life. But daily life becomes so ordinary sometimes that it's just hard to get up and get moving. Seriously, the idea of doing laundry and vacuuming all day just doesn't do it for me. The idea of serving breakfast, then snack, then lunch, then another snack and then starting dinner... can get rather boring. Especially when I have absolutely awesome dreams. In my dreams I catch up with long lost friends and have a blast. In my dreams I don't have to worry how partying is going to affect me the next day or my liver in the long term. I can smoke easily in my dreams and it doesn't even affect my lungs! (I used to in real life but not anymore because of all of the health issues and such) Goodness, in my dreams I can smoke and not stink afterward!! My dreams are so incredibly real and vivid.

What I am hoping for through this "therapy" is to get a contentment out of life on an everyday basis that I am just plain content with everyday. I want life to be pleasurable... including making lunches everyday. I want to look forward to making honey sandwiches!

I have a feeling its going to take me longer than 30 days to get this way. I need to retrain my way of thinking a lot. I want my thinking to be positive most of the time and to keep complaints out of my head.

I want to in the end... want to wake up every morning. I don't want to wake up because I'm thrilled to do something special that day... nor do I not want to wake up because I'm too sad to go on with my day. I want to be content with what I have and to be satisfied with waking up and serving my family everyday.

What I think of now when I think of being content:
(this is the my favorite view from the beach while we stayed in St. Lucia... I used to just stare at it while we laid in the sun)

What I want my view of content to look like:

Election Day

Today I am SO proud to be an American. Not only was Obama elected to be the 44th President of the United States of America but I exercised my right to vote. I am so happy to live in a country that we can actually choose who leads us. What a fantastic process we have. Granted, the process has flaws and does need a lot of help... but we do have a voice.

Thank you out there to everyone that went out and voted. Now - we've got an interesting 4 years ahead of us.

In closing... even if your candidate didn't win... be content in the fact that you had a voice in this election. Be happy that we live in a country that allows a public vote. Be happy and content that you have a choice.

Now I'm off to watch the news!

Being Happy about an awful photo....

I hate having my picture taken. I have a total aversion to seeing my double chin! Most of you that know me already know this about me.... the ones that don't... yeah, I want chin-o-suction! I feel as though from the neck up I look so much heavier than I actually am! Granted - I can still lose a lot of weight and I desperately need to tone up but since I have been in high school I've always felt as though I have a double chin! The only time I didn't mind having my photos taken was around my wedding and at that point I was pretty darn underweight. I am 5'10'' and for my wedding, I weighed about 128 lbs. Once I hit a "normal healthy" weight though - my chin comes back. Anyhow... that's not what this post is about but as I searched for pictures of Kelly and I ... this is the only one I could find. Not only do we both look pretty harsh in this picture... it is a goodness awful picture of me! But we had been driving for about 8 or so hours with 2 toddlers in the backseat. Actually - this might have even been day 2 of our drive. We drove from MD to Wisconsin last summer with the 2 kids to drop her car off at her mom's house before she moved to Okinawa with her husband. Anyhow - I decided to share this picture because this is one of the last times I spent with Kelly and we had such a great time! So I need to become comfortable with showing pictures and actually being in them. Otherwise... I won't have any to look at in the future!

Last night was a little rough for me. It was the season finale of Army Wives. It's a show that Kelly introduced to me last year. It used to be one of her favorite shows. I started watching it last year with her and we watched the season finale together. This year, it was just me. I miss my best friend. She's actually more than that... she's kind of like the sister that I've never had. We're so much alike but really different at the same time. Her husband and my husband are the polar opposites (hers is pretty anal about things and mine is extremely laid back!). But she's the first real friend that I've never had a catty feeling about. Most of you know what that's like - gals can get a little funny when you get a group of them together!

Her and I have never been competitive about things and I've supported her decisions on doing certain things that I knew would be best for her... even though I wasn't happy about them! When she decided to go back to work full time it was terrible! She was my neighbor and our sons played together on a regular basis. She was like a built in playdate! It was great! So when she talked to me about going back full time - I supported her because I could tell that's what she wanted to do. She was having problems staying at home and keeping the house totally spotless (which is how her husband expected it to be when he came home!). It was too much pressure on her and the daycare situation she would use was spectacular! It was right at the workplace so she could drop in whenever she wanted. It was a great deal for her - sucked for me though! I missed my lunches with her! But she called me almost every day on the way home from work - really, now that I look back I think she called me more from work than my hubby did! Then again though, she talked back and hubby is not a big talker!

So Kelly has now been in Okinawa for a little over a year and she is actually in California right now on vacation with her husband (who is in a conference). I can't believe that I'm not flying out there!! Flights have dropped in price big time - a few weeks ago I checked it out and for me to fly out there it would have been about $700. The other day I checked and it's now about $269. Unfortunately, I don't have anywhere for Bryce to go and it's just not a reasonable time for me to travel. There's a lot I have to do here. But - she's in the states!!! It's not fair! Needless to say I am devastated.

On the flip side of this. How incredibly blessed am I that I have a friendship this great that I feel devastated that I can't hang out with her. She's thinking of coming back to the states next summer and staying around longer so Bryce and I would actually be able to hang out for awhile - so I just need the patience to wait that long! I am so incredibly lucky to have a friend like this. Heck, a few weeks ago I had such an awful stomach virus and at 10:30 pm I called her (11:30 am their time) just to complain about how awful I felt and to see if she had any advice (her hubby's a doctor). She was so sweet and while she didn't have any advice on what I was asking .... it was great to talk to her.

It's definitely a shame that I can't make it out to California right now but this contentment therapy has really helped me think of the flip side of situations. I feel so blessed by God right now that he has granted me to be in such a great friendship with her. And so I am going to proudly post one of the last pictures Kelly and I took together (actually I think I only found 2 of them and the other one I posted awhile ago!). Double chin and all..... :-)

The Washing Machine

Have you ever had a stinky washing machine? A few years ago in our townhouse we bought a new Kenmore washer and dryer - I loved having new appliances! When we moved I figured that I would just have to deal with older appliances in the new house until we could afford to get new ones. So imagine my happy surprise when the house we bought had the exact same washer and dryer that we had in our townhouse! I was thrilled!

But that happiness soon went away. The washer and dryer we have now don't ever really make the clothes smell good. Actually, every once in awhile they come out smelling a little moldy I think. I thought maybe I was leaving them in the washer to long so I bought a timer so that I remembered to take them out right away. When the wash goes in the timer gets set at 34 minutes and when it beeps I transfer the wash to the dryer. Well, it really hasn't helped that much. I just think our washer and dryer are a little stinky. Now, don't get me wrong... it's not awful... it's just not totally fresh smelling. So I figured it was about time to look into how to clean the inside of the washer to see if that would help. Here is what I ended up doing:

Step 1 - With your machine empty, run it full of hot water to the largest load setting. When the tub is full and begins to agitate, add 3 to 4 cups of distilled white vinegar to the water. Then add ½ cup of baking soda. Allow the machine to agitate for a few moments, then turn off the machine. Let the water sit for thirty minutes to one hour.

Step 2 - After allowing the vinegar/baking soda mixture to penetrate the grime in the washing machine tub, restart the machine, allowing it to complete the wash cycle. At the end of the wash cycle, as the tub begins to drain, advance the washing machine to the spin cycle. On many washing machines, this will cause the washing machine to spin as it drains, which can help to further loosen any residue. If yours doesn't do this, simply allow it to drain. Turn off the machine.

Step 3 - Wipe the inside of the washing machine tub with a wet cloth. If desired, use a cloth soaked in a solution of half hot water and half white vinegar. Be sure to wipe all inside surfaces, including the bottom and blades of the agitator and the top of the tub just under the lid. (It is sometimes helpful to use a wire toilet brush around the top rim and in hard-to-reach places.) If the washing machine has a fabric softener and/or a bleach dispenser, remove these and clean thoroughly before replacing.

(taken from How to Clean Your Top-Loading Washing Machine)

I wouldn't say the inside of the cleaner smells any better (or worse really) and I haven't really thought the laundry has smelled bad recently (really, the mildewy smell was hit or miss and not terrible - my hubby didn't smell it as much as I did) but it was probably time for the washer to be washed anyhow! I think I'm going to add this cleaning to my list of things to do - I'll probably do this process every other month or so. A little vinegar and baking soda isn't going to hurt anything! Although I still would really like to have a new front loading washer and dryer. But - for now, I need to be happy with what I have!

Thankfully, I have a functioning washer and dryer in my house and while I complain about them more than I should and grumble that they are in the basement and have to climb 2 staircases to get the clothes to their closets.... I should be extremely grateful that I don't have to put it all in the car and traipse off to the laundromat! When I was little I spent the summers at our summer shack with my parents and grandparents in Long Island. We had no washer and dryer there and every week off the laundromat we went. It was such a pain! So really, I have to stop complaining about my washer and dryer and feel blessed that I have one convenient in my home and that I have the opportunity to give them a cleaning.

So - if you've got a washer and dryer in your home - think about treating them to a "spa day" and wash them out and wipe them down. Then thank your lucky stars that they are conveniently located in your home! Heck, we're lucky we're not still carrying our clothes down the the local river with a washboard!

Closets... ugh

I love closets. I love that you can stuff things in them and close the doors. Then - the room actually does look tidied up!

What I hate about them though is that eventually they do have to be straightened up and cleaned out. Especially with a little one that is growing quite quickly. I've learned that I hate that he's growing up. For all of the obvious reasons and also - I don't know what to do with all of his clothes that he's grown out of! Plus, I have a habit of yard saleing and picking up clothes at cheapo prices that I know will fit him later. For example... my son has the tiny tiniest waist! He needs those pants with the adjustable waists. So if I find them at a yard sale... I buy them! Right now I've got a few pair in every size up to 6. He's currently growing out of 3T. I mean, you can't go wrong with those adjustable waists - especially if they're jeans! You can wear jeans all year long! So at some point he's gonna fit them! It's just finding a place for them until then.

So - this weekend I decided to clear out all of Bryce's summer stuff, move in the fall/winter stuff and re-organize his closet. So all the while... I tried to keep the "contentment therapy" challenge in mind and thought... "we're so blessed to have all of these clothes!" instead of my usual grouchy thoughts.

We really are blessed. I mean, there's tons and tons of people out there that just don't have enough clothes. It's starting to get chilly around here and there are lots of people around that don't have the option to change out summer clothes for fall/winter clothes.

Anyhow... here are some pics of what I did. I forgot to take some before pictures so they're all after pics:
Now, the closet is still not totally finished. I have to figure out his clothes - I'm not sure if a lot of the older ones still fit and I have to see if some of the newer ones have to be tailored (some of them do not have the adjustable waist!)

For the clothes that he has grown out of... well, that's another story. I would donate them but I'm not sure yet if we are going to have another. Some of you know that we've had some fertility issues and we will be starting some therapies in December so there is a possibility of having another. Therefore, I'm not quite ready to part with it yet! Those clothes are now all over the nursery (well, what was the nursery until my miscarriage). That organization is for another day though! But for now... instead of looking at organizing closets and switching out clothes as a meandering chore... thing of it as a blessing! You are blessed because you have the clothes to do so!